Month: October 2016

Last week was a really hard work week, fighting highs for most of it.

One day in particular. I was at 10mmol when I woke up and knew it was going to be a tricky day, I could just feel it.

Dosed and ate breakfast and tested 2hrs later (about a half hour before I was supposed to leave for work) and I was up to 16mmol.

That broke me, that morning. I was in tears, pretty much incapacitated by sobs… I don’t feel like getting into that part now, seems like all my journal entries are complain-y lately, so instead let’s change focus a bit…

I live with two wonderful, crazy tabby cats- brother and sister. They drive me nuts but I honestly couldn’t imagine life without them. They adopted me when I moved back to BC four years ago.

So, there I am still having to get ready to leave for work and feeling thoroughly defeated… and one of my two little loves….

We had a quick snuggle, I washed the crying off my face and, even though I still felt like crap, went to work.

And it was a shitty work day as I was slow and dumb for most of it…

Spiked up above 16 after lunch again (which is always weird at work cuz I’m on my feet and doing things all day). BG wouldn’t get below 12 until the evening when I felt like I was having a hypo (sweaty, shaky) and when I tested it was 5.2. Not bad yet but dropping that much in a short time (12.5mmol at 5pm to 5.2 at 7:30pm) made my body think I was having a hypoglycemic episode. Yep, even my body can fool my body. I cried the whole way home.

I was exhausted the next day. And I still had to get up and go to work. Superfuntimes. I fought all day to keep my BG below 7, after it rose to 13 before breakfast.

All I wanted last week was to be at home. So these last two days off have been wonderful. I have made myself relax and sleep and just be.

And of course, had snuggles with both tabbies…

 

 

 

I was on the edge of a low at the end of a workday last week. I realized I was starting to feel a little frantic inside. Tested at 4.6mmol. Not terrible but bad enough that the alarm was sounding in my head. Then I just stood there in the staff room, eating my granola bar so I could walk to my car and drive the half hour home.

Thinking about it after, I swear I had that ‘squirrelly’ look to me- warily looking around, hands up near my face and just munching away. Don’t try and talk to me, I am focused on this snack. Can’t talk. Eating.

 

Then a few days later I was running high, pretty much all day. When my BG is high there is nothing frantic about it. At first I thought the best comparison would be a sloth, cuz that’s how I felt the other day. Slow. But it’s kind of an insult to sloths because it’s not just slow, but clumsy-and-stupid slow.

Maybe something more like a beetle.

Here in southern BC we’re into autumn and what us locals call ‘stink bug season’. What we are referring to is not a true stink bug but a western conifer seed bug. (They do have this piney-salty stink/spray when crushed, hence ‘stink bug’).

The western conifer seed bug (aka stink bug) is a multi-shaded brown beetle that crawls and flies and gets into everything this time of year. In the fall and winter, with the colder weather, they become a little stunned and move slowly. They become clumsier and plod along, trying really hard to do whatever they do but mostly just getting in the way and falling on their backs and not knowing how to get up again.

The other day that is what a high BG felt like for me. Plodding along, trying really hard but feeling slow and feel dumb and pretty useless. Brain was trying really hard but I may as well be moving and thinking through molasses.

Aiming for human status today…