January 2017 – Peanut Butter and Toast

January 27

Diabetic clinic appt this morning, follow up in 2 weeks.

Nurse gave me a couple of things to try. She want’s to figure out what basal dose I really need (and possibly what time of day?) before we make any changes to the bolus. She asked me to dial back to 4.5 of the lantus for a couple of days, to see if that stops the big drop overnight.

The dietitian also asked my to try out having my carbs in 10g increments- we all laughed at that one- but really, it’s to see if I can bolus for exactly what I am eating. As my ratio is 1unit to 20g, it’s easy to bolus exactly if carbs are divisible by 10. I’ll try it for a few days, as much as I can.

Alarm is set for 2am to check. At 9:15pm it was 8.9. I am not having a snack tonight but I started the lower dose of the lantus.

Want to try and figure this out. Tired of feeling foggy and tired all the time.

January 23

3.4 this morning. Alarm woke me up. Sweaty but just thought it was night sweats (yay to being in my 40s) until the shakes and nausea started once I was up and moving around.

Dex tabs for breakfast. Weeee! Yesterday high, today starting low. Great.

January 22

12.9 this morning. Now I’m crying. So tired of fighting with my body. Diabetic clinic visit this week- What’ll they say? Work harder? Fuck. I’m eating really well (sometimes a couple of treats but overall really fucking healthy) and I’ve been exercising 4x/wk for the last 2 weeks.

Ok, so obviously now I see I should’ve done that correction last night (BG 14) but I didn’t want to deal with getting up in the middle of the night to potentially manage a low. I guess there wouldn’t have been one. Fuck. OK, gonna eat and then get on the bike.

6.2 after bike and before drive to work. After that, the rest of the day was over 9 or 10… so tired of this.

January 16

Increase of lantus helped a bit- midday hit 6,7 a couple times! Yay! Still eating less carbs and did 30min on the bike this evening. It’s 9pm and I’m happily in bed already.

January 15

BG 5.5 this morning at 5am. I’ve been exercising for the last 3 days. Feels good but frustrating with highs into the 10s or teens for no reason. Less carbs feels good too – around 150g/day.

About 100g today and BG wouldn’t go below 9 today. Dropped to 5 after cycling this morning but then once I ate again, it went up and stayed around 9. Exercising is feeling great but I feel like it’s not having the same effect it had in the summer. I know a stationary bike is different because I’m not also maintaining balance etc but still, I am not feeling like exercising is having any lasting effects on my body/BG right now. Increasing lantus from 5 to 5.5.

January 10

4.3 this morning. I feel good though. I’ve been working hard, fighting this. Cycled last night again. Wonderful waking up with the tired, post-exercise ache. BG still up and down.

January 3

Weird, heavy dreams.

2:30am, BG 6.9. Had a snack of 10g. Usually drops between 2am and 6am. Now, at 6am is 8.9mmol.

I just did 3omins of hard cycling after pbj sandwich. BG is 15.3mmol. I know it’ll down eventually. I know this but I am so fucking tired of this disease. And now, because I did my exercise in the evening, will it drop overnight more or should I have cycled longer to bring it down more?

January 1

BG 10mmol at 3am. 12.6 this morning at 9am. Why? Dunno.

Slept really well (of course, cuz my BG was high). Pulled my snowshoes out of the shed yesterday. I’m not the best at getting outside in the winter but maybe today…

I drifted up into the forest this morning. Up the hill to the head of the Mill Lake Trail, along a path where my neighbours walk their dogs, boot and paw prints in the snow.

It’s easier to see through the trees in the winter, and also easier to be seen. Nothing can hide in that snow-filled space.

Trees squeaked high above me head as the wind pushed and pulled at them, brushing them against the white sky.

I really wasn’t used to that exertion, especially trudging through snow, but it felt good to make my lungs work a bit harder.

And then I realized I hadn’t brought any of my ‘anchors’ with me- a snack, my glucometer- all at home. It is so completely freeing and also makes that big, red alarm light starting blinking in my head. The road is just within sight still and I am a 15min walk from home, the alarm isn’t sounding yet, but it’s warming up. Nothing to be drastically concerned about.. besides, I have one package of Halloween candy that I found buried deep in a pocket, just in case..

I walked a little further up. Another few minutes to where the trail bends again. I take stock. My limbs are tired from climbing the steep slope in the snow, but it’s a good-tired, not a fumbly, lack of brain-power tired. My BG had been running high for a day or so before so I am really not afraid. But I turn around and head back down. It is a quick and easy walk back to the cabin, downhill all the way. I was a little upset I wasn’t more prepared and couldn’t keep going but it’s ok for today. Just that little walk felt so wonderful and calming.