When I actually stop and think about what’s going on I really do feel like I can’t hang on. I need to call the counseling service… but I’m afraid they’ll say I’m fine and don’t need any help.
I do. I need help. I feel like I’m barely hanging on. I feel like I’m barely maintaining and I don’t care. I want to quit my other job… I feel so disconnected from so much of everything and life is zooming by. I don’t feel comfortable in my job but I’m going tomorrow and Sunday and it sucks and somehow I have to figure out how to make it better.
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I drank some wine tonight. I took 9units of Lantus 90mins ago so now it should’ve peaked at 8.5mmol, right? I really don’t want to wake myself up in the middle of the night… I’m afraid of having a low but I’ve also made myself wake up in the middle of the night every night this week. I don’t want to keep being afraid to sleep. But now that I’ve had the wine I feel like I’ve fucked everything up.
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…gonna do a middle-of-the-night wake up…