Had a few beers tonight (over a few hours) and now my BG is 26.2. And I’ve taken my insulin. Alcohol fucks with my system so much now. I ate and I had extra food ‘cuz the last couple times I drank my BG dropped. Not tonight.
Fuck this. I want to be normal again. I don’t want to have to think about it. I am so tired of thinking and so tired of worrying all the time.
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I’ve always wanted to be normal. I am up past bedtime drinking water, water, water to bring that BG down. I am tired of fighting with and always being surprised by my body. I feel like I can’t let go anymore, that I always have to be ‘on’.
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Is 26 the highest I’ve ever been? This is so fucked. It’s midnight now and I’m down to 20. I’ll check it overnight when I get up to pee.
This disease is so frustrating/scary/heartbreaking.
Admitting I have a disease is heartbreaking. My brain still calls it a ‘condition’.