Tomorrow is World Diabetes Day and I just found out the ‘theme’ this year is a focus on women and diabetes.
Cool. I’m a woman, and I have diabetes!
So, here I am, eating toast at 7:30pm and shaking just a bit.. yes, the shakes are from an “almost” low I had nearly an hour ago and it wasn’t even really low, it was only 4.6. However, that was before the 15 minute walk home from work up a fairly steep incline. (Just so you know, 25g of chocolate got me home with a BG of 6.2).
…anyway… I am eating my toast because I just did my lantus dose and can’t trust going to bed at a 6.2 and I got to thinking about what diabetes means to me.
So what does it mean to me?
I don’t know sometimes.
It means I have a chronic illness but I also have to remind myself that it does not define who I am (no matter how much of my time it takes up).
It means I do math all the time. Like, literally- All. The. Time.
It means sometimes I can’t control the cranky, worried, spaced-out feelings without having to manage the high or a low that brought them on.
It means I am always learning about this disease and about myself.
It means I know how good I feel when I exercise.
And being a woman with diabetes?
I am so thankful to be living where I am and where I have access to proper healthcare.
I know the night sweats that sometimes wake me up could be because of a low BG, but could also be because of where I am in my menstrual cycle.
I know that sometimes I fall victim to trying to fit into society’s ideal of what a “healthy” woman ‘should’ look like, even though it’s bullshit.
So, what do I picture when I think of my diabetes?
Yes, yes, all the usual lancets and needles and test strips… and gouging my way into the new peanut butter to make that ‘carb and protein’ snack to stabilize me.
… but also just the normal stuff. Like sitting at a messy kitchen table with my laptop, while my cat tries to get my attention.
But these are the most important things I know:
I know I am strong.
I know I am alive.
Ha ha, I can relate in so many ways and I’m a man so not so much with monthly cycles, but there’s my poor wife (who, in a way, is another kind of woman with diabetes(she married it)) changing sheets and blankets while I fumble around with honey and peanut butter at three in the morning. And I don’t feel good about going to bed under 12.0. I still don’t sleep well if I eat before bedtime. (There’s even a laptop at a fairly messy table covered with some of my projects. :))
Thank you for that. Like I’ve said before , I ‘get it’ now so much more than when I was just watching you deal with it while I was growing up. And yeah, there’s also the partners of diabetics who really do ‘have it’ also.. 🙂
you are also amazing! <3
Thank you 🙂