July 11

Power came back on around 10;30pm last night. Slept choppy last night. Up just before 7am and am drinking coffee, trying to get my eyes to open.

It’s a little foggy outside, which is lovely to see- means there’s dampness out there. Wildfire website says there’s a few small starts from last night.. yellow-pink clouds make me worry for fires. With the rain yesterday we were all relieved but it wasn’t enough. Ducking out from work to get caught in the downpour, feeling it soak into my shoes, through my shirt to cool my skin. Watching clouds shift in the sky, the smell of the air shifts too. Deeper, heavier. Damp earth instead of dust and yarrow. Is there smoke in the air this morning, or am I imagining it?

July 6

Fucking hate this disease. BG going up more after only 10g gatorade with stationary bike. Was 9.9 after and now an hour later it’s 11.3. What the fuck?

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Lightheaded this evening. Headache most of the day. Tired. Feel ‘off’ tonight. BG 7.2. Yep, just feel yucky.

June 26

I think I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna move to the tiny apartment in town I was offered. I think it’ll be a great activity in downsizing- deciding what I really want to keep dragging around and what I can let go of.. Also walking to work will help a lot… mentally, physically… and it’s uphill, so that’ll be good, right?

June 15

Hoping to do more than just survive today. Felt groggy all day yesterday, dragging myself around. Would really like to be more ‘on’ today. I feel more rested but still not well-rested.

Feeling snippy and grumpy when people talk to me this week. Usually the exercise wears that off but I am also wondering if I need to increase the intensity of my workouts- not getting that nice endorphin rush as much anymore. I am proud of me for being so much healthier than I was 6 months ago though.

June 13

I had a low after dinner that scared me.

Dropped even lower after having 4 dex tabs (went from 3.4 to 2.8 in 15 minutes).

I’ve never had this happen before. So, I over compensated with too much carbs. Just now, at bedtime, had to correct for a high of 17 (1 unit correction) but now I’m afraid it’ll drop too much. Basically it all got fucked up today, probably because of the junk food I ate earlier. Should I get up and check in the middle of the night? I have to get up early to open tomorrow…

June 12

I’m sitting at the kitchen table, mostly staring out the window. I have the empty box for my lantus beside the laptop, to remind me to call the pharmacy later for a refill. As I am sitting here, sipping my tea and trying to wake up, I’m reading the box. (It reminds me of how I would read the cereal box when I was having breakfast before school).

There are 100 units of insulin in 1ml of this medication.

One mililitre.

How small is that? Around the size of a medium grape? That’s a lot of medication in such a small space.

I know there are drugs that are way, WAY stronger, but I’m also amazed that such a small amount of something keeps me alive. A tiny fraction of something the size of a grape can be the difference between life and death for me.

UPDATE Affordable Housing- May 14

After posting this I also emailed a copy of this letter to my mayor and city council and received a very positive and open response from the Mayor, Deb Kozak. I have attached her response (with her permission) at the end of my post. 

Today I’m thinking about housing.

Who am I kidding, I am always thinking about housing. I’m tired of letting this be normalized. Tired of letting it be this acceptable part of society that no one talks about.

Right now I have a lovely little place to live just outside of town, thanks to the kindness of friends that have helped me figure out short term solutions. But constantly, my thoughts keep coming back to long term living arrangements. Scratch that… about AFFORDABLE, long term living arrangements.

I am considered part of the ‘working poor’. The fact that this is actually a term makes me angry and makes me question our society’s complacency to this situation.

I have a good, full time job in town and am actually making more than minimum wage but instead of this letting me flourish, letting me live, it feels as though I will be struggling for the rest of my working life. Right now I am living to work because I can’t honestly afford any of the rents that are out there. Many small/one bedroom private suites are being offered at prices that come to around 50% of my monthly income.

That is just rent. In some cases that does not include utilities. That is not taking food costs into account. Or if a rental is located outside of town then gas money to get to work. And don’t get me started on pets. I will not be pressured into giving up my pets in order to have a place to live. (I have two cats).

I know I am lucky to have a job and be able to buy food and pay for what rent I can. I am so thankful for that. I know there are people in much worse situations. But I also shouldn’t be considering (as I am) taking a second job (when I already work 40hrs a week) in order to cover the basic necessities. Shelter. Food. Necessities.  

How am I supposed to feel anything but depression about my situation? How am I supposed to feel like part of my community or feel like I even have a chance to be my best self when I am living paycheck to paycheck? And I know there are a lot of folks out there just like me- struggling not to fall through the cracks, making enough money to be just getting by. This isn’t a healthy way to live.

And the answers from government should not be “we are looking into ways of fixing this” or “we have plans for the future”. This always seems to be the answer and nothing gets accomplished. Right now, in my hometown, the most upcoming, pressing plans are passing designs to revitalize our downtown core. Shouldn’t we be focusing on supporting the people that make the town what it is? Those people who work hard for the industries and businesses that make the town what it is? And this isn’t just happening in my town, this is everywhere. The people that make a community what it is, that work and live there, and then shop and support local businesses, need help now.

We need action, we need someone to pay attention at a government level and make some effective change NOW. Not in 5 years, not after another study. We need support now. Why aren’t we focusing on the real/biggest issue here?

Affordable housing for the people that live and work in a community is a necessity.

 

The following is the response from Nelson Mayor, Deb Kozak:

Dear Leannah,
I hear you. Affordable housing is an issue that Council has been grappling with for some time.
We have made some progress with:
1.  Short-term rental bylaw to restrict the growth of AirBnB to encourage long-term rentals.
2.  Called for tenders to create affordable housing above the youth centre.
3. Supported housing projects moving forward with Nelson CARES (43 new units being built on the site of the Lakeside Apts), supported Jim Reimer for the creation of housing in the Daily Bread facility etc.
4. Assessed the limited lands owned by the city to plan for affordable spaces with interested developers.
5. Bringing forward a Standards of Maintenance bylaw in June that will require landlords to improve substandard housing.
6. Established a housing committee to work with the priorities of council.
7.  Reduced the sewer and water fees on secondary suites to 25% of what a home would pay. We encourage landlords to pass on those savings to renters, but do not have control over whether they do or not.
And there is more…..

Council cannot control the open market, but we do provide incentives to developers and homeowners to create affordable spaces.

You can help us by talking with people who share your circumstances and working together to appeal to groups like the landlords association, non-profits and developers to help us and you create affordable space.

The Urban Design Strategy is not taking funding from housing. This guidance document is a plan for the future as we continue to replace aging infrastructure (sewer and water). If you are digging up streets, it makes sense to make other improvements as you go. For example, our heritage light standards are failing. This plan includes options moving forward. Infrastructure is a responsibility of local government and funding comes from water and sewer fees. The other improvements we are planning come from grants at provincial and national levels.

Thanks for reaching out today Leannah, we do hear you and are working with people to address this urgent issue.