Waiting for the phone to ring with test results..
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Call came. Fasting BG 16.6. A1C 13.3 (shows my BG have probably been in the 20s for a few months).
Doctor said he dictated a letter to the Diabetic Clinic at hospital. He said if I haven’t heard from them by tomorrow to call them and if I have any problems to call him back.
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Do nice things for yourself today.
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Unexpected tears. I think my brain really thought the A1C would be low, I kinda hoped that the readings I had done were wrong or that my BG was only high from eating poorly through August and with stress and moving. I know this isn’t the end of the world and I know things could be a lot worse but it’s still a really big shock.
Month: September 2015
September 15
Doctor said diabetes, which I already knew. (I did a fasting BG yesterday morning with dad’s glucometer and it was 18mmol). So, did fasting blood work and urine test this morning at the doctor’s office and he said when he gets those results back he’s going to set me up to see the dietitian and the nurse at the Diabetic Clinic up at the hospital.
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I’m a little depressed but not at all surprised. Feel like I have betrayed myself, or my body has betrayed me or something. Maybe. I dunno. I’m tired and I can’t wait to start feeling normal again. I don’t even remember what that’s like, the feeling I have now is my normal. Yuck.
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I feel distance from my diagnosis. I feel like it’s a mistake or when they do the A1C it’ll show a super low percentage, that it’ll prove that all this is happening just because I’ve been eating poorly for the last bit of August and beginning of Sept. It’s my fault I let my body down and it scares me that I’m not more worried.
September 13
Terrible night’s sleep, oh and I get to work this evening.
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BG got as low as 19mmol by 10:30pm- four hrs after supper. I have no idea what my doctor will say when I see him next week. I think I should get a glucometer- being able to test the last few days has really opened my eyes.
September 12
I feel like I can feel the sugar making syrup out of my blood, it’s slowly sludging through my veins.
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I’m tired… want to nap. It was hard concentrating on driving today. Scattered thoughts. Can’t focus. Thinking about working the next three days is exhausting. Killing time on the internet, trying to stay awake.
September 11
Crappy feeling justified. Decided to check my BG at work:
0800 23.2mmol (breakfast at 0530- toast, pb, tea)
1130 25.9mmol (sips of smoothie all morning)
1330 20.5 lunch at noon-salad with feta cheese and eggs
This makes me feel better that I am not being a hypochondriac but scares me…
(I remember also that I was scared but numb to finding this out. I think there was a lot of disbelief in my head, and I was basically dragging myself around due to exhaustion that I didn’t really care about much at that point.)
September 10
Being pulled in too many directions and all I can think about is my health and how it isn’t normal to feel how I feel.