Author: leannah

Appointment with diabetic clinic today, and get to see results of last A1C. Don’t feel good about it. I’m guessing it’s over 9.
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A1C is 8.1- phewf!! Thought it was going to be waaay higher. Today is my 8th day off in a row and finally feeling a bit rested but tired even though it’s only 8:30pm. Already in bed even though I slept for 9.5 hrs last night. Will I ever have energy again during regular work weekends?

I started learning about FPUs today at the appointment. Fuck. So not only am I counting carbs but now I also have to be aware of high fat or high protein food?? Like it wasn’t complicated enough. Oh, and my tender, cracking thumb skin is actually because of a fungal injection. Did you know that for women with diabetes, fungal (or yeast) infections are fairly common? Awesome. Oh and I also found out that my c-peptide level had me pegged as officially living with a pancreas that’s not doing it’s job. Official type 1 diagnosis! Weeee! Like I didn’t already know that…

Today is already hard because my BG is 13. I ate 1.5 hrs ago. Had an am of 12 after overnight 9. Then I dropped a half unit off my breakfast dose because I was afraid of having a low. Now I am super sleepy and want to eat. That’s all I want right now- a fucking muffin or something!
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Was going to do a ride this morning but I’m crawling back into bed. So tired. (Yes, high BG makes you tired but I was also up twice last night). I am really tired of this today. Crying now. Awesome. Gonna try and sleep for even an hour.

Awake at 2:30am trying to be my own pancreas because a BG of 6.1 means I won’t be making it in for fasting bloodwork for my A1C in the morning. Frustrating but it’s ok. I’ll try for Friday morning. I had a bit to eat, even though 6 isn’t that low I don’t want to wake up at 6:30am with it under 4. Tonight I’ll do 4 units of Lantus, instead of 4.5.

I am feeling jaded and broken today. Work is pissing me off and I feel trapped here. And I don’t have the clinic days anymore. I feel totally fucked and trapped. This is not where I wanted things. Last year at this time my life was going in a completely different direction.

I’ve been on the stationary bike for 1/2 hr this morning and I can’t tell you how hard it is this morning. It’s finally stopped raining and I have to go back to work. Right now work, with diabetes, is very hard. I’m tired of counting and tired of worrying. I ate extra this weekend (period, depression, whatever) and of course my BG was high.

It poured rain all day and I watched tv all day. I’m trying not to feel guilty for taking a total down-day. Yes, the exercise makes me feel better but sometimes it’s so much energy to motivate myself.

Well, I just found out the health coverage provider through my work has cut me off of any more prescription coverage. I maxxed out at $1000 with them, the rest of the year will be whatever Fair Pharmacare covers. Makes me think. A lot. If Fair Pharm. is covering me anyway what’s the fucking point staying at a job that’s stressful and exhausting.

I feel like if my only job was to manage my health and my diabetes I could do it properly and efficiently.

I beat my BG down to 5.8 before supper yesterday with 2+ litres of water plus my normal running around at work. 9.4 at bedtime after small snack and 4 units of Lantus. 8 this morning at 5am. Smoothie (45g) and 45 mins on the stationary bike= 10.9 then 13.3 ad hour later. (I had 1/2 unit for breakfast dose). I am angry now that it is 13 but I am trying to be gentle with myself. I can work on this.