Author: leannah

Off work today with a head cold. Hurting. Whiny. BG running high since yesterday. Beautiful snow storm here today though. Tired. Neocitran hangover. So much pressure in my sinuses that my eyes are watering..

BG 10.6. need to eat breakfast.

So, I rarely eat oatmeal because I seem to metabolize it too quickly and am left feeling starving within a couple of hours (even if I add nuts, fruit,etc…).

Anyway, I had some leftover in the fridge (from a few days ago) and warmed it up for brekkie. Took my insulin dose and then, tasting the oatmeal, realized it was older than I had thought. (Oatmeal, just so you know, should not taste sour). Ok, so toss that and then I am standing in the middle of the kitchen trying to figure out what to eat for the insulin I had just taken and was imaging already working it’s magic….

Ended up with the old reliable and a couple of boiled eggs to keep me going a bit longer.

Ah, the trials of a diabetic.

Was looking at yesterday’s numbers- looking really good, around 5-6- then I looked back on my food- around 250 carbs! Yikes! way over what I should be aiming for. So gonna try dropping to 4.5 of lantus again tonight because I think I am eating for my insulin again. So frustrating right now although I am also feeling distanced from it all again.

Chips hurt my stomach sometimes.

Jam (even half a ‘serving’) shoots my BG up.

My body is sneakily making me get healthy…

Good numbers again today!!

5.9 when I got up and 10.4 was the highest and that was due to a mandarin orange I had extra at lunch and didn’t count in my bolus.

BG was overall pretty good today. Stayed around 7-8 with a couple small spikes after meals.  11.6 just now (7:30pm) and I just my lantus dose and a small snack (15g). Super tired but might try and read for a bit…

Lowest BG all day was at 7pm this evening- 6.8. And I think that was because I miscalculated my carbs at dinner and dosed a half unit too much. Would I really have made a big difference. This is a good number but kinda sucks cuz I’m due for my lantus around 7:30pm and don’t want to crash overnight.

Frustrated but kinda trying to stay open-minded/ scientificky in order to keep my head. Trying to get in to see the RN and dietitian and I just keep recording everything in my little book. I really want to get this back on track.

Glucometer stopped working today- completely stopped reading test strips. Thank god I was already in town cuz I just about ‘lost it’ sitting in the car (was trying to check before I drove home). Tears welled, fought them back. My regular pharmacy didn’t have it in stock so I headed to another to find one that would work with the new box of test strips I already had. Self-sabotage with chips during because I was afraid of crashing.

I’m at home, on my stationary bike now, feeling headachy and distant. Fucking sick of my life being dictated by a small electronic device. Feeling a little hopeless. Got a bunch of library books, hopefully that’ll swallow me up…

4.7 this morning when I got up. (9.1 at 1am). Started doing 5 units of lantus again last night. Also going to try cutting carbs back a bit when I can from 3 to 2 servings at meals (reminding self not to eat for my insulin but take insulin for my food). I can’t keep living at 8s and 9s, gotta get better control.

Right now I am not panicking about 4.7. I am having tea and making breakfast, like normal. I’ll be ok.

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I was too afraid to take full doses of the rapid with my meals at work today, knowing that I had that bit extra of lantus in my system. HAHA! Changing lantus dose won’t help anything if you don’t stay on top of the rest of it, Leannah.

Man, that fear of lows is a strong fear.

BG was 8.2 at 1:30am and 8.6 this morning at 6am. Hoping that is the start of a good day.

I’m angry today. Angry about my disease. Angry I’m letting it control me.