August 26

It was 11 at 1 am and it’s 14 just now at 7 am. Bummed it went up so much but safer than 6.8 at 10:30pm. I’m already worried about breakfast ‘cuz we’re going to the pancake house and I’m having a goddamn pancake!!
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I found the nutritional info page for the pancake house online! Now I can plan…
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It’s 5pm and I am 8.2! YES!! Fought so hard with it during the day- 2 extra boluses during the day.

August 25

15.7 at 7:40am. No wonder I slept like a brick.
OK. Gonna work hard on this today.
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10pm and 7.4. Yay!!

Salads with minimal carbs at lunch and a burger and salad at supper. FPU corrections for both meals and a swim after supper. Plus an extra 1/2 unit of Lantus. I just ate a cookie (15g) now ‘cuz now I’m nervous it’s going too low. HAHA!
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Half an hour later and its down to 6.4. HaHa. oops. Shit. Whole granola bar (28g) now. I’m tired and I want to go to bed but I’m a little afraid. Water now and then I’ll have to get up in the middle of the night and can check.

August 24

In the middle of the night I don’t always bother with the ‘toast’ part of ‘peanut butter and toast’. Like last night I was dealing with highs from the day and bolused too much for bedtime correction (which I barely ever do). I was at 6.8 at 1am (had set alarm to check). Too nervous of it falling more with another 5-6 hrs of sleep so I ate. So this morning 11.9. Sigh. Great way to start the vacation.  (Three days of driving, hot springs and restaurants. The meal part I got info from the dietitian to help with so I hope I can manage ok).
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Fighting highs. Two meals at restaurants but did pretty good at lunch. Did a FPU bolus of 1.5units 2 hrs after and got it down from 20 to 12 at supper. 11.2 at 7:30pm after supper of veggies and chicken (look at me and my healthy restaurant choices!!) and my Lantus dose just now.
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Went up to 13.9??? Tired. Don’t know why. Too hard to think right now.
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Half an hour later and it’s up to 15. Sleepy. Can’t think why. Didn’t count enough for protein? Beer with supper (even though that was 3 hrs ago)?? I’ve had lots of water since dinner too… Not active enough? Fuck it. I dunno. I’m gonna sleep it off.

August 23 (Describing Day 2 of MS Ride)

I remember waking up in the middle of the night with legs so sore I didn’t know if I’d be able to go out the next day but it was somewhat better in the morning. I got up a bit early and did a LOT of stretches. Left Lakeside Park at 8am. Sore starting out. My ride buddy (a friend from work) is much more athletic (and a faster rider) than me but she was so sweet and waited for me at each rest stop before lunch (3 stops between Nelson and Kaslo).

After the stop in Ainsworth I started dreading the hill after the Woodbury Marina – it’s steep and the sun wouldaugust21-03 make it extra terrible. But then I started thinking about 49 Creek hill – about the advice to just put my head down and go. And I remember gearing right down and putting my head down so my eyes were focused on a spot just ahead of my front tire. And I just kept pedaling, slow and steady.

august21-06I made it to the top. I have never in practice runs made it up without stopping! I was panting and grinning like a fool by the time I started coasting down the other side, almost crying with pride. I rode another 15 mins before stopping to check my BG. (I don’t remember the number but I remember it was still in good range). I remember the medics drove by then and I gave them the thumbs up and they waved.

Made it to Kaslo for lunch at about 12:10. The rules are you have to be leaving Kaslo by 1pm or they scoop you up and transport you to the Fish Lake rest stop (30km up the hill from Kaslo, last rest stop before the finish line). No one had to tell me to hurry, I was shoveling food in within 10mins. One of the medics checked in on me while I was eating- was I ok? Staying hydrated? Yes! and Yes! I left the lunch stop at 12:40 and pushed up the steep hill out of Kaslo – head down, slow and steady.

august21-05There is a nice, seemingly gentle incline between Kaslo and Fish Lake (the summit of the mountain). It’s 30 km. It’s mostly hell. The first rest stop after Kaslo is about 15 km up. And I was tired at this point. All the scenery the whole 30 km was gorgeous but I was getting fucking tired. And I remember this section of the ride was where I felt the most like quitting. Because it felt like it went on forever. Fish Lake was never around the next bend (like I kept telling myself).

I stopped about 4 times in that next 15 km to eat and hydrate. One of them I thought for sure I was feeling a low BG  but when I checked it was 6.8 – I was just august21-08exhausted. That was right around Whitewater Creek and the climb got a little steeper and I was really ready to just sit down on the side of the road and quit. I kept watching for a break in the trees up ahead, trying to guess which place would be wide enough that the little lake would be there.

Then there was a sign on the side of the road, marking a rest stop coming up. Suddenly I was there and there was a wonderful volunteer offering to put ice on my neck (Yes! oh god, please!!) and my head. I could smile again.

I ate again there and tried not to panic because my own extra supplies were done except for the 2/3 bottle of sport drink. I ate as much as I could and tried not to overthink – most of the next (and last!) 20 km were downhill so I should be ok.

That 20 km (with a little climb near Sandon) was amazing! Now I would say worth the endless 30 km up. At one point my speedometer clocked 60 km/hr! One of the stronger riders who had been lounging at Fish Lake ‘caught up’ with me and we coasted into New Denver together.

I yelled out for another hug at the finish line and got it with lots of cheers from other riders and volunteers. I didn’t check my BG right away but downed a chocolate milk (the best I have ever drank, by the way) and went and sat in the lake for 5 mins as it was 4pm and about a thousand (30) degrees out.

I remember being euphoric and in total disbelief and so full of pride. I ate and wandered around for an hour before packing up to head home. I cried on the drive home – joyfully- and I remember being completely blissed out that evening. I don’t think I have ever felt that way before. And even now, I am craving it, and I am mourning a bit, that all of it is over.

August 22 (Describing Day 1 of MS Ride)

I did it.

And I am elated. The mass of us (almost 100 riders) left the start line at 8:30am in beautiful sunshine but the air was still cool. The medics all knew about me – I went and introduced myself right away when I got to the start area. The two lead medics checked in on me all weekend. Hugs and praise from one of them right at the start when I told her I had emergency snacks and my glucometer with me on my bike. Made me feel so proud of myself. It also made me feel better about my choice to ride with a pannier bag when most other riders had nothing. (One rider even questioned my extra bag at the end of the day, letting me know that bags can be sent on ahead. I thanked her (I think) and said, ‘I know. This is for supplies I needed.’).

Day 1august20-07 was gorgeous- hill climbs and mountain views and even a ‘hello’ from a black bear that popped up out of the ditch and stood in the road about 30 feet ahead of me. He stopped my coasting momentum down the hill past Slocan but it was lovely to have a moment with him/her. Just the two of us, standing on the road staring at each other, before he wandered across the road and down into the ditch on the other side. And then another 10 minutes further and I catch sight of another one disappearing into the bushes.

Our lunch break was in Winlaw. I had been stopping at every rest stop and eating 1-2 servings of carbs, sometimes checking BG, sometimes not. At Lemon Creek I was 6.8 and I remember thinking ‘ that’s not going to get me to lunch (about 14km further). august20-04I remember I had 30g granola bar at that point and some sport drink. (I always had one water bottle full of one of those sports’ drinks. I picked up the powdered mix and went through 4 bottles of it plus snacks on day 1 and 5 plus snacks on day 2). And I remember the nurse was there too and she asked me what my BG was, I told her and assured her I was eating.

When I got to lunch my BG was at 7.7 and I shoveled food in. Just took a half unit. My sister is an EMT in Winlaw and they had set up an event table at our lunch rest stop so I ended up sitting with them while I ate. When the other lead paramedic pulled up he saw me there (sitting with the ambulance crew) and looked concerned. I called over “I’m ok, I’m visiting my sister and her team,” and he comes over to talk to her (our communities are small and emergency crews often know each other) and says “Your sister is the diabetic?” Hahaha!august20-10

Probably not the best place to sit because my doctor (he was on the ride too) comes over, looking worried. I assure him too, I’m just visiting my sister and she pops out from the ambulance to give him a hug. “I just wanted to make sure this one is ok.” “Yep, she’s good.” So much love and support during this ride!!

The rest stop before 49 Creek hill was when I really started to panic about that one – it’s steep and long. My doc was coming up to it at the same time and I told him my fear. He said “It’s all psychological, just don’t look up.” And we all dump water on our heads (because it’s somewhere around 30 degrees Celsius) and start up.

And I didn’t look up. And I made it up the hill. Without having to walk my bike or stop to catch my breath, as I have done in the past. And I didn’t have an instant hypoglycemic collapse. I was too shy to yell that I wanted a hug to the volunteers (that were cheering us on) and other riders at the rest stop at the top. I couldn’t believe that I did it!!

And after that it was down Granite Road and into town.

I rode a lot of Day 1 alone. Well, by myself but not alone. The medics and volunteers were constantly driving the route to check on all the riders. It was good. One of my favourite parts of cycling is the ‘aloneness’.

When I got to Lakeside Park at the end of Day 1 I yelled for a hug and got two big ones. And a fist-bump from my doc.

It was awesome and exhausting.

August 15

Fought my BG down- walking and waterwaterwater. Gonna do a ride to town today, not going to think about the weekend. Scared I’m under prepared. Start training at the store this week. Nervous about that- when are breaks, when can I eat/check BG. Really don’t want to embarrass myself with an at-work-low when I’m a fresh newbie. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be embarrassed it’s just with new people and new work and I’m an introvert anyway…
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Had some chips and could feel the high coming- super sleepy. Then, about 10 mins after my supper bolus I’m starting to feel more awake again.

August 13

Ride today with a friend, training for the MS ride next weekend. We did 60km and all I can think about is how frustrated I am with myself. My BG has been running high for 2 days and this morning and didn’t burn off my regular exercise carb, so stayed high. I was at 18mmol an hour in and 13 at lunch (total 2 hr ride time before that).

Oh, and because we just weren’t organized, I left my insulin in the car, which was a ways away from where we had lunch, so basically had lunch with no insulin. Fuck. I didn’t dare take my BG after lunch, I’m sure it was ridiculous.

We biked another hour and a half after lunch and I got it down to 11! Holy crap! Yay! I just did a full correction for supper so I’ll see what happens. Not sure why it’s running higher- sick? Stress? (I am about to start a new job…)

August 12

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as I’ve been reviewing my old journals for these posts. I still can’t believe how much has changed for me in the last year- it’s really amazing!

Last year at this time I was really sick. And now I am a different person. I’m not the strongest I have ever been but my body is pretty healthy right now. The MS bike ride is next weekend. I don’t feel like I’ve trained enough for it but I’m gonna give it a shot anyway. I realized when I was messaging mum earlier that the fact I can manage my diabetes with hard core exercise like riding 200 km in two days was pretty much the whole challenge part of this bike tour. It’s a super great fundraiser and a personal challenge for each rider. Even if I don’t finish the ride, I think I got this.

August 1

Yep, I can’t stay at this job. I’m home at almost 9pm (and have to leave in the morning at 7:30am to go back) and I realized I don’t have enough food to get me through the day tomorrow. I’m staying up cooking and I’ll still have to drop in at the grocery store tomorrow. I’m exhausted from the long days and have no energy left for days off.
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I’m about ready to burst into tears… BG 6.9 at 10 pm.